After I finished the bar exam and got settled into Sacramento, it started...I began to get the itch to play metal again.
Perhaps it was the months of studying and moving that made me want to set up my drums and beet the living shit out of them, I can't be sure. I was sure however, that it was time, but how to go about finding like minded individuals to play with? I pondered.
Here I was, living in a new city where I really didn't know anyone, let alone metal heads who weren't dangerous felons. Then I said it: "Craig's List?...Oh God, it's finally come to this," I shuddered.
My early attempts at trolling Craig's List for metal bands were wildly unsuccessful. Between me not being between "16-25" and having no desire to lay down a beat for some bullshit hipster Sacramentans or 50 something "classic rockers" I was finding nothing.
When I tried creating my own post, it went something like this:
Drummer looking to play metal - You like Slayer?....Fuck Yeah! You like to break shit?....Me too! Let's get drunk and fuckin kill it. I eat blast-beats for breakfast. Influences: Blah, blah, blah, Slayer, blah, blah, blah, Pantera, blah, blah, blah, Deicide. Double-bass for your face."
I received no responses. "What a bunch of fucking pussies" I thought. Finally after a couple of misses, I found a rather intriguing post. It said something to this effect:
Melodic Hard Rock Band Seeking Drummer - "We are all working professionals who have jobs and families, we have our own studio complete with PA and drum set, looking for a like minded individual to play originals, practice 2-3 per week and eventually play shows."
Working professionals with families? fuck this shit, sounds like a bunch of old squares, I thought. But wait a minute, I have career, I have a fam...NOooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! cry! sob! (puking noises). That's when I realized that I was now one of those working stiffs with grey hairs who listened to "old bands" Fuck it, if you can't beat'em join'em, I thought.
So I decided to call the guy. One of the first things he told me on the phone, was that there was absolutely no drug use of any kind allowed, apparently they had a problem with "the last guy" and his apparent "marijuana use." STRIKE ONE. Then he told me they used to be a Metallica cover band, STRIKE TWO. Then when I told him that I was an attorney, he said, "that's great, I'm in law enforcement." STRIKE-FUCKING-THREE!!!
"I'll get back to you" I told him, and I immediately threw the phone to the ground disgusted as if the phone were some vile insect. As I ran to the bathroom to wash my ear and hand where the phone had been touching, I thought to myself: "A fucking cop! Go fucking figure, motherfucking Craig's List piece of shit!!!" I shouted in my head so my coworkers couldn't hear" "I'll never join that band in a million years," I thought with confidence.
To Be Continued
